Monday, July 6, 2009
I don't know what to do
so, I read back in my blog, and it doesn't seem like I was too depressed all the time or anything, but maybe I edited it. I know that I started a private blog one night I was quite upset, but frankie said it was a bad idea and it would be like hiding things from him. No, he wouldn't have it. So, now I just had to vent publicly, which would mean I had to be positive. or just blog when I was happy. Anyway, I don't know what to do, because I feel so lost in my life right now. I wonder if I would be better without him, and I feel I would be, but I also think that maybe it wasn't so bad and it was my fault I moved out. Maybe we could work through things, or would I just go back to being miserable? I don't know. I am so lost.
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Hey, Autumn. It's me (Erica) again. Please let me know if you'd rather I not read your blog. I won't be offended. I don't mean to pry or stick my nose in where it doesn't belong.
ReplyDeleteI just had a thought about the private blog. I actually have 2 blogs. I have a Live Journal one that I started quite awhile ago. It's a "friends only" blog where you have to be "friend" on there to read. Then I did Birdie last year and wanted to start up a blogspot one as well. I've actually got that as private also, but I tried to collect e-mails of anyone I thought might be interested in reading it (if you'd like an invite, send me your e-mail) so I still had control of who read it. I put pictures up there of my daughter a lot and I didn't want just anyone having access to them. However, with blogspot you can't choose post by post how private it is like you can on live journal.
I've been married almost 9 years now but there are times when my husband drives me absolutly CRAZY and I'm really mad at him. During those times I find that writing down my feelings helps me a ton. So, I write those down just in LJ and post them as private. That way I get to release my frustrations without everyone having to read about it.
The catch is that my husband has access to my LJ account (or any account I have, for that matter) anytime he wants, which also gives him access to any private entries. I have it auto-sign-in. That way I'm not keeping anything from him at all (in fact, sometimes I even WANT him to read it...though I don't know that he ever has) nor am I putting my frustrations out there for everyone to see.
That being said, you must realize that I have NO idea what kinds of problems you and your husband are having or how serious they might be. That's for you, your husband, your parents, and your bishop to know. However, there are people that care very much about you and want the best for you. You're in my thoughts! *hugs*
-Erica