She thinks my tractor's sexy... with good reason!

Ok, so I am not always depressed. I am so doing a lot better. I love my husband, love my family, love God, and life is good. plus, I am listening to "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy", so that just makes it all better. I also like the song "God Love Her" by toby keith, it reminds me of me and my honey... Talks about how this good girl (preacher's daughter) meets this guy, her mom cried the first time she saw her with him. Now, "She's holding on to me and her bible, on the back of my motercycle... God love her, oh me and God love her." Yeah, I have turned into the "rebble child" so it seems, even though I am sill a good person. Kinda silly actually.

Yeah, I love listening to music, it makes me happy. oh, and I just watched Wall-E. It was the cutest show, it made me happy, I really liked it.

Speaking of things I like to watch, I have discovered a show from a couple kids up at college. It's called "The Big Bang Theory". it's about socially akward genus guys, and I just laugh so hard. They talk about 'star treck', 'halo', 'star wars', superheros, mint comic books, 'lord of the rings' marathons... Oh, it makes me laugh because we all know people like them, and I am like them in many ways. I grew up on star treck, i loved it. And still do, but it's hilarious when they play "Clingon Boggle" and stuff. WOW!!! It's hilarious. Especailly the girl across the hall (a 'normal' person) who is and tries to be their friend. I could die laughing over some of that stuff.
~ megan, look it up. You too candice, it's hilarious. look up "Sheldon's best christmas minisode" and watch. it's like 9 minutes, but I had to watch it over and over, I thought I would pee my pants... You guys would appreciate the gift Penny gives to Sheldon.

Anyway, enough ranting, thanks for everygthing and for always being there for me. I love my friends, you are all awesome!
Love you!!!

*sigh*...

Wow... so I am just depressed. I hate January, it's so cold and dark and snowey and blah. But I will just have to get over it. I feel like I can't do anything of worth. I can't get a job. I can't get interviews. I got one, for a selling business, that I had to pay like, 400 dollars up front to get licenced to sell insurance. Blah. I have skills, I do. I just don't know how to be successful in the real world with my skills. I don't get paid for painting, or drawing, I don't get paid for acting, singing, sewing, cooking, being creative, making friends, talking to people... I don't have skills people want to hire for, or pay for, or even acknowledge in the "real world". By the way, where is this place, this "real world" cause I have some issues to bring to it's govornmental figure. Blah! I don't know if I will ever get there, to the real world. I am so lost, I feel like I have no meaning to my life. It's just worthess. I know, i will be a great mother, a good friend, a great artist, actress singer... but where will it be? Not anywhere where the monehy is made. For all I know, I will be doing community shows for no one to come see. But, guess what, this "Real World" mentality doesn't accept the talents and gifts God has given me as important, or relavent. No, it's go get a real job. Suffer. Find something to do. What on earth am I doing? AAAAHHHHH!!!! I just need an answer to some prayers I guess. I am rambling about a bunch of nothingness but my own insignificantness. I know God loves me, and I am important to him, but I don't know how to live in this world and survive. I feel awful being a dependent, an apendix about to burst. I need to get a life. I can't just rely on my husband to do everything while I am doing what seems to be, nothing.

Why I'm not at church right now...

I woke up very abruptly at three last night... well this morning. Anyway, in a very painful stupor, I crawled out of bed and took two midol, and was awake for another hour before I could fall asleep again. Yes, cramps that kill. It was one fo the worst ever! I then slept in, and our ward meets at 9, and I broke my fast early because I needed food with pain meds. I am now on the couch in a big comfy blanket, blogging, and watching my husband and his best friend (my cousin) play X Box. what a day. But, we are going to read scriptures for an hour this afternoon when I am feeling a little better. Periods just take so much out of me... I am still in pain after two midol at 3 and three ibuprofen at nine thirty. I can't take anything else for a little bit, but I thank my father in heaven for this pain... Because it means that one day I may have children.... even when it hurts so bad now... "This too shall pass" I don't want to complain, so this is my complaining for the day... or week about my cramps. :D
I will just hold church in our apartment.

are you in my pack?

Today, I took a break from cleaning the house, and I wondered, how can one live without another? I am so glad that People live with one another to create families. I would be so lonely if we were creatures who need no pack to live with, no flock to fly with, and no herd to run with. I am glad for people, my friends become part of my family, we take care of one another. Are you in my pack?