thank God

so, life is hard. life is crazy. and I don't know what to do. or how to deal. who knows what to do when its all happening anyway? who knows what life will hit you with next? obviously god, but he's the omnipotent one. not me, thank him for that! I am just me, and weak and imperfect, mortal. I make mistakes, big ones and small ones, but I have made some huge ones it seems. I feel bad because God knew what I would do. He knew I would mess things up and expected me to do this, its kind of a sad thought. I know I can make him proud. I can make him happy one day, but now is time for me to just keep asking for help and forgiveness. I love him and didn't want to let him down. But if he knew what I would do, is it really letting him down? probably not in the big scheme of things, this is all just a learning experience, and I will probably grow a lot from it. I hope I can become a better person from this, but at this point I am at an all time low. I am going to get help. I need it and want it. so I have made the first step. :D Thank you God for helping me through the low times, thank you for giving me hope. And thank you everyone who talks to me and helps me, on this site or in person. I truly need it and am so grateful. I will make it. I will.